box of donuts

INT. SUV - DAY

View of rural airport.

MERIWEATHER

Well here we are - donut dunkers international!

SUSAN

Daddy, shame on you!

JOY

I don’t get it.

DODY

He’s making fun of the local Amish population dear. Their know for deep frying their sweetbreads.

MERIWEATHER

Don’t forget the double entendre!

SUSAN

We all caught that dad.

MERIWEATHER

I’m speaking for Joy.

SUSAN

The airport is on the smallish side. They’re mostly propeller planes.

JOY

Cool.

MERIWEATHER

Bah!

3D print with black highlights; polychromatic backing pattern; unpainted mild steel H beam base. (Floating series).

Documentation: BerniO 1/6 26.0”H x 18.0”W x 4.0”D

Weight: 25.0 lbs. +/-

Working name: Donut Dunker International

Tribal name: The Great Beyond 500

Artist name: Donut Dunkers International

Conception number: 1,278

Made number: 1,350

EXT. TOPSIDE

Meriweather disconnects EPIRB unit.

MERIWEATHER

Joy, come here a moment. I want you to see what I am doing. Do you know what this is?

He points to an orange box mounted outside doorway.

JOY

Flares?

MERIWEATHER

Joy, this is what is known as an EPIRB. Ever hear of one?

JOY

No.

MERIWEATHER

If there ever was an emergency on board, you pull this handle and the unit will emit a radio frequency. Rescue craft can then zero in on the position of the boat. It is only for an emergency. Do I make myself clear?

JOY

Yes sir.

MERIWEATHER

Good.

Meriweather opens the unit and takes out the battery.

MERIWEATHER (CONT’D)

And since I do not foresee an emergency situation, I am going to remove its battery. I will keep the battery in my cabin in case you have to use this. Any problems with my doing so?

JOY

Er, no sir.

MERIWEATHER

Do you know what an emergency situation is?

JOY

Not exactly.

MERIWEATHER

An emergency situation is when the boat is sinking, or if one needs medical attention, or if one should fall overboard. Then and only then will this unit be activated. And only I, as the captain, will make that determination. Unless I am unable to do so. Do I make myself clear?

JOY

Aye aye captain.

MERIWEATHER

Atta girl. Now, get about your business.

Lino print; polychromatic backing pattern; unpainted mild steel H beam base. (Floating series).

Documentation: BerniO 1/6 26.0”H x 18.0”W x 4.0”D

Weight: 25.0 lbs. +/-

Working name: EPIRB

Tribal name: The Great Beyond 503b

Artist name: EPIRB

Conception number: 1,563b

Made number: 1,353b

EXT. HIGH HELM - DAY

MERIWEATHER

Joy, I’ll be pulling into the town dock. I want to get the mail sent off. Get one of those gadabouts on the pier to take our line.

Joy lets out a piercing whistle.

DODY

Good heavens!

JOY

Impressed?

DODY

I dare say not!

JOY

Can’t you whistle?

DODY

(Laughs.)

I used to like to whistle. But now - even if I could I would not. At Bryn Mawr, they taught us otherwise.

Dody reciting.

DODY (CONT’D)

Whistling girls and cackling hens, both shall come to a no good end.

JOY

Whoa.

MERIWEATHER

Hear that Bear? Whoa, she says.

Linoleum print; black painted mild steel H beam base. (Floating series).

Documentation: BerniO 1/6 26.0”H x 18.0”W x 4.0”D

Weight: 25.0 lbs. +/-

Working name: Whistling Girls

Tribal name: The Great Beyond 502

Artist name: Girls Who Whistle

Conception number: 1,562

Made number: 1,352

IMAGE: FINGER WHISTLE

Lino print; polychromatic backing pattern; unpainted mild steel H beam base. (Floating series).

Documentation: BerniO 1/6 26.0”H x 18.0”W x 4.0”D

Weight: 25.0 lbs. +/-

Working name: Finger Whistle

Tribal name: The Great Beyond

Artist name: Finger Whistle

Conception number:

Made number:

EXT. TOPSIDE - DAY

Joy finds the anchor is not even hooked up.

MERIWEATHER

I imagine that the registration number would be below somewhere and not topsides. Still, let me know if you find anything of interest.

JOY

Well, I pulled all the anchor and chain and line out just to get us ready and guess what?

MERIWEATHER

Hmm?

JOY

The anchor is not secured to the boat.

MERIWEATHER

In what way?

JOY

In no way. If we dropped anchor we would just keep going. There’s a shackle in the bottom of the locker so I wrapped the rope through it and tied it off. And the anchor is shiny.

MERIWEATHER

Just goes to show that they are rich. No need for them to use an anchor. They must pull into port every night. Take the helm. I want to inspect this matter for myself. I’ll also send them a letter telling them how our due diligence has saved them a pretty penny in anchor and line costs. Imagine the chaos if you hadn’t found this out. Bah.

Lino print; polychromatic backing pattern; unpainted mild steel H beam base. (Floating series).

Documentation: BerniO 1/6 26.0”H x 18.0”W x 4.0”D

Weight: 25.0 lbs. +/-

Working name: Loose Anchor

Tribal name: The Great Beyond 503a

Artist name: Loose Anchor

Conception number: 1,563a

Made number: 1,353b

EXT. TOPSIDES OF THE FORMAL AFFAIR

While still fogbound, a splash is heard. a deer jumps into the water and swims across the canal. Joy snaps pictures.

JOY

How beautiful.

Lino print; polychromatic backing pattern; unpainted mild steel H beam base. (Floating series).

Documentation: BerniO 1/6 26.0”H x 18.0”W x 4.0”W

Weight: 25.0 lbs. +/-

Working name: Deer

Tribal name: The Great Beyond 504

Artist name: Fogbound

Conception number: 1,564

Made number: 1,354

EXT. TOPSIDES

Sleeping bridge tender. Meriweather wakes him up with the horn.

JOY (O.S.)

The bridge tender is not responding to my call.

MERIWEATHER

Maybe his radio is down. Better find the air horn.

JOY (O.S.)

Can’t you do it from the console?

MERIWEATHER

I’d rather not.

Joy comes topside.

JOY

One long one?

MERIWEATHER

Three short ones ought to do it.

JOY

Here goes.

Toots horn. Bells begin to clang from the bridge.

MERIWEATHER

He heard you. He’s waving.

JOY

There goes the traffic gates. I guess his radio was down.

MERIWEATHER

I think sometimes they leave their radio off for peace and quiet.

Lino print; polychromatic backing pattern; unpainted mild steel H beam base. (Floating series).

Documentation: BerniO 1/6 26.0”H x 18.0”w x 4.0”W

Weight: 25.0 lbs. +/-

Working name: Air Horn

Tribal name: The Great Beyond 505

Artist name: Air Horn

Conception number: 1,565

Made number: 1,355

EXT. TOPSIDES

Black buoys being removed.

JOY

Denton. The markers have changed colors. Their black. are they for Camp Lejeune? Should I follow them or not?

MERIWEATHER

You’re in good standing. What you are looking at are the original ICW buoys. Every so often you’ll see a Coast Guard ship replacing them. If you want, I’ll take the helm so you can get your camera.

JOY

For what?

MERIWEATHER

To take a picture. Historical purposes.

JOY

You’re kidding, right?

MERIWEATHER

Could be your only opportunity. I doubt they’ll be around much longer.

JOY

Nah.

MERIWEATHER

No? Suit yourself. Just follow them out then. They’ll be back to green and red soon enough.

Lino print; polychromatic backing pattern; unpainted mild steel H beam base. (Floating series).

Documentation: BerniO 1/6 26.0”H x 18.0”W x 4.0”W

Weight: 25.0 lbs. +/-

Working name: Black Buoys

Tribal name: The Great Beyond 506

Artist name: Black Buoys

Conception number: 1,566

Made number: 1,356

INT. WHEELHOUSE - DAY

Passing spot where there are signs posted for speed limits. Meriweather tells Joy to keep the speed down.

MERIWEATHER

Watch your speed and wake Joy. We don’t want the law after us.

Lino print; polychromatic backing pattern; unpainted mild steel H beam base. (Floating series).

Documentation: BerniO 1/6 26.0”H x 18.0”W x 4.0”D

Weight: 25.0 lbs. +/-

Working name: Speed Limit

Tribal name: The Great Beyond 507

Artist name: Speed Limit

Conception number: 1,567

Made number: 1,357

EXT. TOPSIDE

People standing alongside the waterway. Parents with young children have gotten out of their cars to look at the line of backed up boats as they pass. The bridge tender has also joined the crowd and is waving at the passing boats.

BRIDGE TENDER

Keep moving captain.

MERIWEATHER

When I damn well please. People like you should be home sitting in your rocking chair. You’re a disgrace. Running out of fuel. Don’t you plan ahead? Or is that too much for your brain to handle? If you have a brain you idiot. Can you see the havoc you created? You threw all our schedules off - both boats and cars.

Crowd begins to jeer.

BRIDGE TENDER

I said move it.

MERIWEATHER

Pipe down you faggot. I’m not through with you yet.

BRIDGE TENDER

What? What you call me? I’ll get the name of your boat! I’ll report you. There’s woman and children here.

MERIWEATHER

Go hide behind their skirts you Johnny Reb hick. No wonder you lost the war. Bunch of incompetent do nothings. What, couldn’t get a better job than this? A child could do better than you.

BRIDGE TENDER

That does it.

Gets paper and pencil from pocket. Boats behind blow horns. Cars on land blow horns.

MERIWEATHER

Hear that? That’s all your doing. Not mine. Yours. Idiot!

BRIDGE TENDER

I got the name of your boat. I’ll call ahead to the others and tell them about you.

Meriweather opens up the throttle all the way. Boat tender chases after him for a ways waving paper in the air.

DODY

Quite the spectacle captain. You sure got him mad.

MERIWEATHER

And a few other too. Let’s hope we make a lasting impression.

DODY

I wish you hadn’t called him a homosexual in front of the children.

MERIWEATHER

Bah. They probably hear worse at home.

JOY

Do you think he’ll call ahead like he said?

MERIWEATHER

Him? Ha. He can’t even maintain a proper fuel level let alone manage to dial a phone I bet.

DODY

Weill you are going quite fast captain.

MERIWEATHER

Have to make up for lost time now thanks to that idiot’s delay.

Lino print; polychromatic backing pattern; unpainted mild steel H beam base. (Floating series).

Documentation: BerniO 1/6 26.0”H x 18.0”W x 4.0”D

Weight: 25.0 lbs. +/-

Working name: Bridge Motor Out Of Fuel

Tribal name: The Great Beyond 508

Artist Name: Bridge Motor Out Of Fuel

Conception number: 1,568

Made number: 1,358

EXT. TOPSIDES

To make up for lost time, Meriweather is speeding. Jet skiers behind him are hopping their wake.

DODY

Those youngsters look like they are having fun.

MERIWEATHER

Look, one of them is gesturing. Find out what he wants.

Joy leans out door.

JOY

He wants you to go faster.

MERIWEATHER

What? And risk a fine. Tell him to make do with it.

JOY

They called you an old fart.

DODY

Ha! Hear that captain?

MERIWEATHER

Old fart? I’ll give them an old fart.

Meriweather opens up the throttle and leaves the jet skiers far behind.

Lino print; polychromatic backing pattern; unpainted mild steel H beam base. (Floating series).

Documentation: BerniO 1/6 26.0”H x 18.0”W x 4.0”D

Weight: 25.0 lbs. +/-

Working name: Old Fart

Tribal name: The Great Beyond 509

Artist name: Old Fart

Conception number: 1,569

Made number: 1,359

EXT. TOPSIDES - EARLY MORNING

Soon after, he swamps the fishermen.

MERIWEATHER

We’re making up for lost time now.

DODY

You should slow down Denton. You remember what happened last time.

JOY

Last time?

DODY

Ha ha. The captain got pulled over. Who ever heard of getting pulled over in a boat.

MERIWEATHER

A mear slap on the wrist. A warning at that. I was within my rights.

DODY

Still.

MERIWEATHER

Blast! Fishermen

JOY

Better slow down.

MERIWEATHER

Too late for that. I’ll warn them though.

Hauls away on horn.

JOY

You’re no way close to them. They’ll be all right.

MERIWEATHER

The wake we’re making will hit them like a tsunami.

JOY

Look! They’re jumping out of the boat.

MERIWEATHER

At least they are smart enough to do that. Damn fishermen. Who would have thought.

DODY

You didn’t captain.

MERIWEATHER

Joy, open the side door.

MERIWEATHER (CONT’D)

SORRY GUYS! THE THROTTLES STUCK!

FISHERMAN

We’ll get you - you Yankee bastard.

JOY

Shouldn’t we slow down? If there’s one group of fishermen, there might be others.

MERIWEATHER

Bah. I’m wagering there won’t be. They were pretty hot, were’nt they now? Ho ho. Best to get out of Dodge.

Meriweather goes even faster.

Lino print; polychromatic backing pattern; unpainted mild steel H beam base. (Floating series).

Documentation: BerniO 1/6 26.0”H x 18.0”W x 4.0”D

Weight: 25.0 lbs. +/-

Working name: Swamped

Tribal name: The Great Beyond 510

Artist name: Swamped

Conception number: 1,570

Made number: 1,360

INT. RESTAURANT - DAY

Dody and Joy eating out. Meriweather locked up in jail

DODY

Eat up dear. The food here is delicious.

JOY

I feel bad for Denton.

DODY

Don’t. I sure his jail food is not all that bad. Of course I’m sure it’s not his usual prime rib. Hee hee.

JOY

Shouldn’t we visit him?

DODY

He’s probably enjoying himself. I’m sure he’s giving them all an earful.

JOY

Ha! Your right about that!

Lino print; polychromatic backing pattern; unpainted mild steel H beam base. (Floating series).

Documentation: BerniO 1/6 26.0”H x 18.0”W x 4.0”D

Weight: 25.0 lbs. +/-

Working name: Jailed

Tribal name: The Great Beyond 511

Artist name: Jailed

Conception number: 1,571

Made number: 1,361

INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT

Dody enters from below as they sit at table eating. She stands in the doorway staring.

JOY

Dody, just in time. You are not too late. I’ll get some dinner for you.

Dody is silent.

MERIWEATHER

Dody, you remember our old neighbor Barbara. She lives down south now. I rang her up as a social call.

Barbara stands up in way of greeting.

BARBARA

Hello Dody, I brought you some fresh flowers - local.

DODY

Denton, get that whore off this boat.

Lino print; polychromatic backing pattern; unpainted mild steel H beam base. (Floating series).

Documentation: BerniO 1/6 26.0”H x 18.0”W x 4.0”D

Weight: 25.0 lbs. +/-

Working name: Old Friends

Tribal name: The Great Beyond 512

Artist name: Old Friends

Conception number: 1,572

Made number: 1,362

EXT. TOPSIDES

Dody very hungover and wanting more to drink. Meriweather blasting Sousa marches from a cassette player.

MERIWEATHER

It only hurts for a little while.

Lino print; polychromatic backing pattern; unpainted mild steel h beam base. (Floating series).

Documentation: BerniO 1/6 26.0”H x 18.0”W x 4.0”D

Weight: 25.0 lbs. +/-

Working name: Dodie’s Hangover

Tribal name: The Great Beyond 513

Artist name: Dodie’s Hangover

Conception number: 1,574a

Made number: 1,363

EXT. TOPSIDES - DAY

Dody still mad at Meriweather.

MERIWEATHER

Good morning dear. Still mad at me?

DODY

Joy, is the captain directing that question to me?

JOY

He is.

DODY

Hmph.

MERIWEATHER

For what though, I can not imagine.

DODY

Captain, you are a penis.

Lino print; polychromatic backing pattern; unpainted mild steel H beam base. (Floating series).

Documentation: BerniO 1/6 26.0”H x 18.0”Wx 4.0”D

Weight: 25.0 lbs. +/-

Working name: Penis

Tribal name: The Great Beyond 514

Artist name: “Captain, You Are A Penis!”

Conception number: 1,574b

Made number: 1,364

INT. GALLEY

Denton at stove with tea kettle.

JOY (O.S.)

I can see the taxi.

MERIWEATHER

Be right up. Just getting a cup of tea. Help the missus with her bags. Did you get the luggage dolly from the marine office?

JOY (O.S.)

We’re all set. Not much time for the airport.

Meriweather comes topside.

MERIWEATHER

Bear’s carrier too?

JOY

All set.

DODY

I can’t believe you wanted a cup of tea. We just had breakfast. What’s wrong with you? If we miss the plane it is all your fault.

MERIWEATHER

We’re in good standing. All right then. Off we go.

Lino print; polychromatic backing pattern; unpainted mild steel H beam base. (Floating series).

Documentation: BerniO 1/6 26.0”H x 18.0”W x 4.0”D

Weight: 25.0 lbs. +/-

Working name: Spot Of Tea

Tribal name: The Great Beyond 515

Artist name: Spot Of Tea

Conception number: 1,575

Made number: 1,365

INT. AIRPORT

MERIWEATHER

Joy, you look perplexed.

JOY

On our first trip, when I turned the sailboat around in the squall, you said that cemented your decision to go the inland route.

MERIWEATHER

With only two of us I doubt I would have gone the sea route anyway.

JOY

Still, if we had gone the sea route then two weeks later the boat would have been delivered. Maybe that would have been it for me.

MERIWEATHER

It?

JOY

You know, I only wanted to practice my celestial navigation. Get some star sights in. I could have done that then and then be done and moved on to something else. But when the boat turned around that changed things around too. Funny. You know, life?

MERIWEATHER

No argument from me there.

Lino print; polychromatic backing pattern; unpainted mild steel H beam base. (Floating series).

Documentation: BerniO 1/6 26.0”H x 18.0”W x 4.0”D

Weight: 25.0 lbs. +/-

Working name: Life Is Funny

Tribal name: The Great Beyond 516

Artist name: Life Is Funny

Conception number: 1,576

Made number: 1,366

INT. BEDROOM - DAY

Sunshine filled attic room. Phone rings.

JOY

Hello?

DODY

Joy? This is Mrs. Meriweather. I only have a few seconds before the captain gets back.

JOY

What happened?

DODY

Remember our trip from a while back?

JOY

Yes. And? Did the captain lose his license? You know, from the bridge?

DODY

Ha ha. No. Actually I forgot about that. Anyway dear, he’s planning to call you to go on another trip. But I am so mad at him. If he knew I am talking to you right now he would flip.

JOY

Well, he hasn’t called yet. At least not that I know of. We haven’t spoken.

DODY

I bet he wouldn’t tell you and if he did I am not sure how he would color it so I want to tell you.

JOY

Tell me what?

DODY

Remember he went below to make a cup of tea? The last day. Well, he left the kettle on.

JOY

What?!

DODY

I was on the extension listening. Of course, he didn’t know. The owner was cursing him and cursing him. Seems he flew down the next morning and found the stove still on and the kettle melted down. Smoke and smell everywhere. Oh he was so upset.

JOY

What did Denton say?

DODY

That’s just it. He said we all wanted a spot of tea and leaving the kettle on was an oversight. I got so mad just listening to him. I almost spoke up but I didn’t. Sorry me.

JOY

No. You did the right thing.

DODY

But to tell the owner we all wanted tea as if we were all below and involved.

A look of nausea comes over Joy.

JOY

I’m glad you told me.

DODY

Oh oh. I hear him downstairs. I better go.

JOY

Bye Do-.

Stares at receiver and then hangs up. She goes and lies on the bed and stares at the ceiling.

Lino print; polychromatic backing pattern; unpainted mild steel H beam base. (Floating series).

Documentation: BerniO 1/6 26.0”H x 18.0”W x 4.0”D

Weight: 25.0 lbs. +/-

Working name: Listening In

Tribal name: The Great Beyond 515

Artist name: Listening In

Conception number: 1,577

Made number: 1,365

INT. BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Phone rings. Joy lying on bed just continues to stare at the white ceiling.

Lino print; polychromatic backing pattern; unpainted mild steel H beam base. (Floating series).

Documentation: BerniO 1/6 26.0”H x 18.0”W x 4.0”D

Weight: 25.0 lbs. +/-

Working name: The Joy Of Not Answering

Tribal name: The Great Beyond 516

Artist name: The Joy Of Not Answering

Conception number: 1,573

Made number: 1,366